This is my most recent of a long line of blogs and I'm determined to keep this one permenantly!There's going to be slow posts, long posts, short posts, daily posts so I won't feel like this is a job or a chore to me and therefore I will be less inclined to give up and quit on my literary ambitions.
My name is Mary and this is my personal blog, it won't be based around just the lulz things in life - this blog will be my place of expression or a place for logging memories~.
So lets start this off!
Lately theres been a few things going on, I've started college and feel stupider each time I go there because I get headaches whenever someone in my class asks a stupid question and I just hit my head on the table to attempt to knock myself out.
I've been having quite an awesome time with everything else, really, I'm playing one of my favourite games again: Final Fantasy XI, and things in my personal life are going quite well.
There has been one thing, though. I've just over the past few days had a pregnancy scare and seriously thought I might've been. Though I didn't get symptoms of either that time or being pregnant, the worrying thing was I hardly got any symptoms of that time or being pregnant so it was now or never to find out. I've always been quite shy when it came to discussing things with my boyfriends' mother (I live with him and his family now since my family are OTT crazy) and I wasn't sure how it was going to pan out.
I was quite surprised.
She was perfectly fine with it all, and when I told her I'd probably go along with my boyfriends' idea of an abortion - not in a heartless way of course, he doesn't believe we're equipped for a child at the moment - she told me it was my choice and I shouldn't decide to do something I'd probably regret because of situations that didn't involve myself.
It was nice, you see, I was so scared and felt the need to do something totally against my morals and everything seemed okay for the possibility of being pregnant. But lo and behold, it came back negative.
She said I should take another one when I woke up just to make sure since they came in a pack of two and yet again this morning it came back negative. My heart sank. What was fear over time became a small, selfish hope that it would be true, my boyfriend and his mum was talking about stuff concerning it and his mum told me "let me know if I'm a grandmother or not!" but it came across in a nice way too.
Mehhh, true and of course I have my whole life ahead for all this, but at the time it seemed like a nice possibility since I enjoy looking after children just like I did my neice. I doubt I'd feel like my sister and feel bitter like I have lost anything from my life like she has. Sometimes, I just wonder, haha...
I got quite emotional when I did the second test and my boyfriend just had the kind of "it's not the end of the word attitude" and yet I just couldn't help but be upset, hrm...
Well, whatever, the next time you'll probably hear of something relating to pregnancy is in two years time... or something like that. (x_X;; ) Yayyy.... /sarcasmoff~
